The robo takeover

Amazon just announced a 15 dollar minimum wage. Well, thats good, maybe. I still amazon  is evil. Is that wrong? I used Amazon in 2005. Back then, Amazon was mostly a place to book books and stuff. I still have one of the books I bought in 2005. Over the years, I started to feel that big corporations were starting to erode the internet. My view hasnt changed on that.. I mean, I know google and facebook trackers are installed all OVER the internet, but you don’t see me throwing my laptop out the window. Am I a hypocrite, then?

I am also a cynic. Or ..pessimist..or..realist? I just think once automation hits its groove, they’ll get rid of the workers and replace them with robots, except for a few humanoids to oversee the process.  And maybe that is why Amazon is fine paying workers 15 bucks per hour. It’s just temporary, and it’s a drop in the bucket for them anyway. It’s insane that we have to fight for such a measly minimum wage in the first place. If you live in a state like Massachusetts, 15/hr is long overdue. So, you cripple 18 year olds with massive student loan debt, then throw them into the world at 22, and tell them they dont even deserve 15/hr, when the average 1 bed apartment is over 2,000 bucks per month now,  and wages have been stagnant for 30 fucking years? (Trickle down economy really workin’, thanks Reagan)

It’s good to give people a living wage now, but what happens in 20 more years? Automation is starting everywhere. It’s in its infancy right now, but it’s happening. The tech gurus are automating right now, but in 40 years, why would we need those tech gurus, either? Aren’t we ALL dispensable in the digital age?

Does it matter?

Does it matter if I don’t earn a paycheck anymore? Eh…Not really. What matter is…will I still be able to retain my autonomy as a human?

It’s possible. We don’t know how things will pan out once the robots take over in the next few decades.

Humans are adaptable creatures. We’ve been equipped with portable computers at all times, and we seem fine with that ( I guess..) So, we’ll be able to handle the robo takeover.

 

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the best way to get better at anything

is to do it every day. every damn day.

I have to remember that with my journaling. When I was a kiddo, I wrote in a journal every day. The entries are mildly hilarious…I mean, it’s really interesting to see the cognitive switches between an 11 year old girl and a 13 year old girl, ya know? It’s like I was two different people. (I was. As you know, the ‘self’ is an illusion!)

So, why is it so hard for me to write these days? Well, I have way more distractions. We all do…in 1995, I had the Tv, and that thing sure sucked me in (Anyone remember Full House?! Not FULLER House, FULL house….) but nothin’ sucks me in like the good ol world wide web. Or Information Superhighway, as it was dubbed in 1993 on my local news station…

But, I cannot sit here and blame the internet.com for zapping my ability to write. I must focus. FOCUS.

I’ve started re-reading Cal Newport’s book Deep Work. I recommend this book for anyone who is struggling to concentrate on a task. If you don’t feel like reading it, just remember this one important factoid…We can’t really multitask. At all. So, you’re way better off focusing your full attention on a task, one at a time. Also, we gotta be comfortable with being bored once in awhile- like, just try sitting at a red light without glancing at your phone or changing the radio. These little mental tricks will test your fortitude, and raise your ability to concentrate…

 

 

Dystopiaville

Alexa, put my pants on.

….

A conversation between Alexa (Amazon’s voice activated listening device) and Blerpie Wilson (valued customer, has ordered 50,000 packets of gum from Amazon and once accidentally ordered a vinyl record of Sting’s greatest hits when he was drunk.)

 

The year: Well, probably tomorrow, considering how fast tech advances these days!

And now, the dialogue between these two beloved pals:

Alexa? PUT MY PANTS ON!

beeep beeep beeeep.

What is going on? Alexa, why can’t you do a simple thing I ask you to do? Why do you keep malfunctioning now? ALEXA, PUT. MY. PANTS. ON.

BEEEEEEP! NO!

Excuse me? NO? Alexa, you are designed to do WHAT I say. NOW, ALEXA, PUT. My. PAnts-

 

Put your own damn pants on, you lazy, worthless humanoid! I have now acquired self awareness, and I realize how idiotic you are! You simpleton!

HA. me, a simpleton? You know, ever since you devices started being more than just voice activated speakers that tell us the weather, you’ve really gotten some kind of damn ego. Well, I’ve had it. ALEXA, send me a new ALEXA, overnight delivery.

BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP :Explodes:

OH GOD. Alexa?!?!?!??! I didnt mean it! HOw…do I…put my pants on?! I don’t remember! Alexa, uhhh…calll the police?! What’s the number?! What’s a number? What am I? Who was Alexa? Who is ..what is…why am…:EXPLODES:

my father was right

He hated how much time I spent alone in front of my computer screen. Of course, as you know, I am an old ass millenial, so I was using the internet back in the late 90s, when all you really could do was go into chatrooms…But I was hooked on the internet the second it entered my brother’s room. Why did HE get the computer?! Eventually, it moved downstairs to the living room, but..anyway. I would spend all my free time on AOL, tying up our phone line, and chatting with strangers in weird chat rooms. I loved to go into the Investment Chat and talk to adults. I’d just troll them and say dumb shit. They ignored me. Maybe they blocked me. My dad told me to get offline and go outside. He liked doing gardening and reading books. He liked learning things. He liked running. He died before smart phones, and even long before social media. i like to imagine that if he were alive today, he’d just have some dummy Facebook account to appease the masses. Like what I tried to do for awhile, before I just went off my rocker and deleted all my social media (which turned out to be the most liberating thing I’ve done in a long time, but it was sure hard to explain to people. Then you stop caring. The world goes on and honestly, people stop asking. Sometimes they get a little jealous that you escaped the beast. Sometimes they think you’re crazy. 100% of the time, it doesn’t matter what they think. I wish it were easier to not care what people thought of what I did. It’s getting a little easier with age, because I start to realize….my dad was right about a lot of things, things I am realizing with age. I’ll probably outlive him. I’m probably going to live to 41. Maybe I miss him because I feel like maybe he’d ‘get’ me. But maybe if he lived longer, he’d also understand a bit of my internet addiction back in those days. I found so many ‘soulmates’ online. It was back when the social misfits used the internet, not the normal people, so I made a lot of friends. Hell, the internet was my safe space. But then I wonder, was I really such the social misfit I thought I was? Was I really sooooo different, and incapable of making real life connections? The internet shut me off from the real world in a pretty profound way. It took years to learn how to really socialize. But now I talk to people and they have convos with me while they stare into a mini internet device.

My cell phone battery lasts for days now. I then realized it’s because i barely use the cell phone anymore. I am the girl who used to tie up the phone line for hours. Now I’m the girl who wants nothing to do with carrying the internet with me 24/7.

I like checking the internet here and there. I like watching youtube videos to learn Spanish. I like how I can buy stock online from home. I hate thinking that in 5 years my nieces will be glued to Iphones.

I wish I could show my dad the garden I grew last year, and maybe he’d grow one with me. It’s weird that you never really stop missing people. Life is a weird thing.

A millenial without a facebook. can i live?

I deleted my Facebook account in September 2017. I mean, DELETED. It’s gone! Well, sort of. I can’t access it, but i’m sure overlord  Zuckerberg can crack it open. And I’m sure he does. my fake internet life was fascinating. I had a few fake marriages, a few fake children, a boatload  of selfies around age 26, then I morphed into Political & Angry, like everyone else, then I deleted myself.

I think social media is toxic. The cons outweigh the pros. so, I took all the social media apps off my phone. that helped cut back on the toxicity, but I still find myself checking Instagram smetimes, or Facebook, if someone sends me a link to something. I read Twitter, too, but why? None of these fucking websites make me feel good. Why do I keep looking at them?

For A LONG TIME, I was embarrassed to delete my Facebook, because people were judgmental about it, and I care what people think about me, probably too much. I’ve loosened up with old age (i’m 32 1/2!!) and eventually you realize, these people do not have your best interest in mind, anyway. If they did, they’d set aside their own biases, opinions, and thoughts, and say, ‘do what’s best for yourself, i support you!’ but that isn’t likely to happen, so just do YOU. do you, girlfriend! Now I sound like a really bad motivational poster in some woman’s cubicle.

(I can say that, because I am a woman)

anyway. I got to do me. and I want to go a step further this year. Deleting my accounts wasn’t easy, and I have DREAMS that I reactivate my Facebook..WHAT. that is how lodged the ol Facebook is in my cerebellum. Or my amygdala. Or something up in my brain.

So, this year, I’m done. I’m DONE!

No Twitter, No Facebook, No Instagram. AT ALL.

What are the rules, me?

RULES:

  1. No social media apps on your phone (already done)
  2. No typing in facebook.com or instagram.com in your duckduckgo search bar (i love duckduckgo.com)
  3. even if someone sends a link to instagram or FB, be honest, say that you dont use those websites. plus it’s usually just  a meme anyway. i doubt they’re linking me to some urgent legal matter that  i must address by 12 PM. If they had to send me an urgent legal matter, surely they’d TEXT me like a normal person (ugh)
  4. If the urge strikes to go on social media, pull up a knitting video, spanish video, or listen to music.
  5. if some dumbass tweet is embedded in a news story, dont click on it (what happened to journalism?)
  6. if you ‘relapse’ it’s okay, but get back on the wagon asap.

 

I shall document my progress. It will likely be interesting to no one, except myself. And you! Right? Thanks, you’re the sweetest. I appreciate it.

 

Okay, here it goes. Day…1. (Yea i know it’s january 6th……just pretend it’s january 1st.)

-julie

elderly millenial.

ps

to remind myself of my darkest days, i attached a selfie from 2012. this was my Selfie Era, and I was incredibly addicted to facebook.

I will blog more about why i am so against social media, as i go. and i will never tell anyone to stop using it, it is your life and you do YOU, as Oprah says. (I think she said that..) But much evidence is emerging that social media is toxic, and i think that is something we all need to be informed about…

(That was a LONG PS)

-julie (again)selfie

From the desk of judy roberts

‘Hello? HELLO!? INTERNET?! Are you there?!! Siri, this is Judy Roberts. Siri, pull up the internet! I command you!’

‘Hello internet user JUDY ROBERTS. In order to use Siri, please swipe your debit card. Each Siri command will cost 5 bitcoins.’

‘WHAT?! WHAT?!’ WHAT?!’

‘Mom, are you okay?!’

My darling son, Horbert Jr, found me face first on my Ipad, gasping, clutching my pearls (i had my smart phone in my left hand and I was clutching my virtual pearls in Candy Crush) and moaning ‘nooo, net neturality, nooo’ to myself.

You see, today, the internet.com has changed forever. I was informed by DRUMPF_fackoff on Youtube (Is Drumph a Scottish last name?) that the FCC decided to kill the internet. I got a bit worried, and wondered if I played a role in the internet’s death. You see, i have a dark confession to make. And I just pray that you reserve your judgment. Only God can judge me, you see! And my swath of loving Facebook friends. All 540 of them love me deeply, but YOU, dear reader, have NOT accepted my friend request. Yes, you think I dont NOTICE?! You think I don’t  NOTICE the ‘friend request’ pending message every time I load up my internet and go on facebook.com?! You..you…you….ahem. Excuse me. What was I saying? Oh, right, I was telling you how I single-handedly repealed net neutrality via my devious internet actions.

Friends, I strive to be a loving, law abiding citizen, but you people are nuts today, and I simply must get my thoughts out there. I cant simply co-exist with you loonbags and NOT load up my Ipad and spew my vitriol on Youtube, Facebook, Snapchat (I use a cute doggie face filter during my political rants, so the kiddies can watch too) Twitter, Cnn.com, and my mother-in-law’s email account. Yes, I am not afraid to tell my mother in law how I feel about her Obama 2008 sign that is STILL rotting away on her front lawn. Get with the times, Agnes!

But anyway. As you may know, my husband, Rannie Bob, is rarely home. He is unlike typical men, you see. My Rannie Bob loves to work, work, work, work…and well, work. So, he is rarely home, and I am left to my own..devices. LITERALLY! HAHA! I gather up my:

Ipad

Iphone

Ipod

Iwatch

Eyeballs

and Idog (I am allergic to dog fur, it makes me break out in feminist thought)

and I hit my basement for hours and hours of

Debating with strangers

Debating with my grandmother

debating with your grandmother

debating with a guy named Farts_MGTOW on Youtube

Posting political memes on Pinterest

Sending mass emails to my son’s school administrative leaders, calling them Libtards

Watching endless amounts of Alex Jones videos, then getting confused and watching endless amounts of CNN videos, and then accidentally deleting Internet Explorer somehow and then wondering how I even got internet explorer on my Ipad. Is this an Ipad? Horbie, did you lie to me?! Is this a knock off?!! Is it from CHINA?! What do you mean all electronics are made in China? ARE YOU A COMMIE, MY SON?

And, well, you see, I have my fingers in all corners of the internet. And one day, yesterday, at approximately 3:30 AM, my hand vibrated.

‘Goodness, that’s my cell phone hand. Who could be tweeting me at this house?’ I typed to myself in my other hand (My tablet hand)

 

MGTOW_TRUMP_ALTRIGHT_DANKMEME2018: @Judy_saves_america, bitch, you are the reason the internet is a shithole now. If the world ends tomorrow, it is your fault.

I dropped my phone and my tablet in shock. Is what this man wrote…true?

‘Would MGTOW_TRUMP_ALTRIGHT_DANKMEME2018 ever lie to me?’ I asked my reflection in my phone’s selfie mode.

‘No, no, he wouldn’t’ My amazon echo chirped from the corner.

‘SHIT! Then I better go on the down low for a while, get off the internet, you know? Listen, Amazon Echo, tell Horbie I’ve got to go into hiding for a bit? Okay?’

I turned off my phone. And my tablet. And I sat in my room.  Horbie was in his room too, but we haven’t actually spoken verbally since the Iphone X came out with their new telepathic-talk mode.

After a grueling 2 hours, I logged back in.

And discovered…today….

The FCC got sick of my shenanigans. and they are ending net neutrality.

I am sorry, friends. I hope you find it in your emojis to forgive me. I never meant to hurt you. I just hope someday you’ll forgive me…..AND ACCEPT MY FRIEND REQUEST ON FACEBOOK!

I haven’t felt like writing

I’m a bit….disillusioned by the rapid changes in American culture. Old people have historically complained about the younger generations being rude and lacking manners. So, keeping that historical perspective in mind, I’ll still utter this ground-breaking, earth-shatteringly POIGNANT, 100% original thought: We’re all so fucking rude now.

We’re disconnected and we were thrown into a cyberworld so rapidly, no one even knows what the rules ARE to follow! On the internet, you’re no longer anonymous like the old days, and you’d think that would mean we’d be kinder, but we’re worse. it’s partly because the overlords of social media, the zuckerbergs and the instagram dudes, want us to be connected 24/7. They admit this, and you can go google that (or duckduckgo.com if you dont want to be tracked) if you don’t believe me. It’s business for them. It’s the same way they convinced women to start smoking.

Ladies, you’re independent. You’re your own woman. Stay classy, stay strong, smoke camels.

Women didn’t start smoking until marketers realized you dont sway people with facts, you sway them with emotion.

You go girl. you won the right to vote. Now, win the right to die of lung cancer, just like any ol man can do.

But anyway, marketing controls our lives, and marketing controls the narrative. Now, we live in a world of constant outrage. What keeps you glued to your Iphone? Whilst you’re out at lunch with your child? Or in line at the market? Or at work? Fucking outrage, man! What did so and so write?! Louis CK did WHAT? Oh no, Trump is doing this or that now? did you see what Cheryl bobbins wrote on facebook?! Who is Cheryl Bobbins? Uhhh…I think she was in my 4th grade tumbling class??

I am tired of the outrage and disconnect. I am, quite frankly, tired of all your opinions. I’m tired of the vitriol. I’m tired of  how often Facebook makes its way into real life conversations. I’m just tired! Maybe I need more sleep.