Well, tomorrow I’ll be 33. I don’t mind turning 33, it’s all so random.. Age isn’t just a number. I mean, the number 33 is just a number, but the aging process is a real thing. I am a lot different now than I was even 5 years ago. I was basically a different person. I guess the thing I think about more, as I get old, is the whole concept of a ‘self.’ Even my body has changed over the years. But I wonder if I am the same person as I was 10 years ago. In some ways, I am. I feel like a more ‘mature’ version of 22 year old me, but will 42 year old me say the same thing about 2018 me? Probably…But life experiences change us, our brains, our wiring, so what if something seismic happens to me tomorrow, and I shift dramatically….
Or an even lamer example.. I used to be a selfie posting, Facebook obsessed smart phone swiping lunatic. I tweeted my way across Italy. I felt ‘off’ if I didn’t post a status update on social media for a day. I was one of the first of my group to use myspace, facebook, snapchat, all that stuff….
Now I don’t even have those apps on my phone. I dont even use those apps at all. I honestly feel like I was a different person back when I was so obsessed with that stuff. Now I am completely over my addiction and the only time I want to go use facebook is when I want to go see what some rando from my past is up to- and i know it will make me feel BAD, so I dont do it…but of course, human curiosity…It’s a normal feeling. But anyway. Am I just a different version of myself, or a different person? Did I rewire myself? And if I did, does that mean I changed my ‘self’ or is the ‘self’ fixed and you just change those little quirks that round you out? We are not static objects, but if I think that I am not static at all, it does feel a bit unsettling.
I have always feared the future a bit, the rapid progress of tech. I used to worry about what it meant for humanity.. I guess it especially started in 2009, when I saw a play in NYC on Broadway. I dressed nice, I put my phone away, paid attention…and the woman next to me texted the entire time. This was even before smart phones, so she fuckng texted on a flip phone the whole time. I felt like that was a sign of the end of times LOL. I always wished I said something to her, like, these people are putting on a show for you. They worked hard. They are doing art, and here you are, texting, TEXTING! Why did you even come to this show?! You can stay home and text!
But I said nothing. I just decided to fume inside and declare that moment the moment that we as humans jumped the shark.
Of course, it wasn’t. I mean, humans did not become ‘horrible’ in this decade. We have a history of being terrible, rude, careless…but also kind, respectful, etc. I just can’t believe when I see how people use cell phones. Like, how can you text and drive, how? it’s selfish and I am tired of making excuses for people. yea, cell phones are addictive, but so are cookies. And if you learned how to not sit and eat a bag of cookies every day, you can learn how to not TEXT WHILE DRIVING A 2,000 POUND METAL DEATH ROCKET!
that’s right, I called your car a death rocket!
Anyway, dear reader(s)
I must go. Time to binge tiny house hunters.