Why do I have such a battle with the internet? I go weeks feeling like I have a handle on my internet addiction. And yes, I know we’re ALL addicted now. I don’t care if internet addiction is normalized. It offends me when someone says, ‘julie, just use the internet in moderation, just STOP using it this way, or that way, just turn OFF notifications’ because it feels rude. You don’t tell an alcoholic to just drink beer in moderation. To just cover all the labels of Budweiser that their roommate keeps in the house..to just learn to sit in a bar every day, for hours, and not feel tempted to order a glass of merlot. But that’s basically what people say to me, when I say I have a problem with my internet use. I spent this morning on Instagram. I never feel good afterwards, but that’s what I did. It feels hopeless sometimes. How exactly am I supposed to just ‘not’ use the internet in 2018?
Don’t look at the stuff that makes you feel bad!
Everyone uses the internet this way now. it’s part of the WORLD.
But what if I am just incapable of scrolling these mindless apps like ‘normal’ people do? what if it really does hurt me, a lot? what if I can’t equip my monkey brain to be able to handle the modern age?
And every day I wonder why I think so much about all this shit. Why can’t I just be normal and learn to love mindlessly staring at a glowing screen. Why do I just want to throw all these beeping electronics out the window.
Maybe the problem is me.