regret

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Millenials are not allowed to regret anything.

 

I believe in the power of ‘now.’ Sure, why not? I mean, you can’t exactly change your past, can you? And what the hell is the future? The past and future do not exist. One USED to exist, one is…..uh….about as non-existent as a flying car. We’re never getting those, stop waiting for them.

 

But at what point does our obsession with living in the ‘now’ become a bit, well…unrealistic? Why must I never reflect on my past and say to myself..wow. I really fucked up there!

 

I have regrets. Every day, I live with a particular regret. I regret the excessive high-impact exercise I endured for about 6 years, ages 24 to 30. I regret not accepting that my body wasn’t capable of handling high impact sports. I didn’t want to accept that limitation. As you know, ‘pain is weakness leaving the body,’ ‘no pain no gain’ and insert other bullshit positive thinking posters/memes here.

 

But sometimes, you do have to just fucking accept that you can’t DO a certain thing. There is a lot of shame in admitting that we have limitations. But why? Genetic diversity is a thing for a reason. Do you want a world of all alphas? Or a world of all people like me, who sit online and write about their broken knees all night? Or a world of people who want to breed as much as possible? Or a world of only people who never want to breed at all? Fuck all of that. We are all different for a reason. And not in some stupid lovey dovey political campaign way. Don’t get me started..

 

It’s evolution!  I believe there is a reason why, in modern times, all sorts of people still exist. YOU NEED DIVERSITY. IT IS HOW A SOCIETY FUNCTIONS.

 

So, you DO need the people who arent athletically gifted. Who the fuck will build all the important tools whilst the athletic people protect us from the tribes trying to steal our Iphone 9.0 test models?

 

You need anxious people. If only risk takers existed, humanity wouldve died out a long time ago. And also, humanity would’ve died out a long time ago if only anxious people existed, because we’d all be huddled in our cave, taking deep breaths, pulling the cave blankets over our eyes and wanting better days.

 

Anyway.

 

Like i said, I regret the years of running. I knew it was bad for my body. I just did not want to accept it. I didn’t want to accept my limitations. But why not? Years have passed. I have learned new skills. I’ve learned gardening, and it’s been such a rewarding experience, that almost rivals the feeling of completing a 5K race at top speed. After learning how to grow crops, plant the seeds, and watch them grow, well, it does give me a bit of an endorphin boost. The same as running for an hour, outside, with music in my ears, faster with each mile, not giving a fuck about anyone else on the road, lost in my own mind? Okay, maybe nothing will top that. Except drugs. But i’m too scared to do drugs. Except booze and coffee.

 

But the point is, I am capable of feeling things, and having passions. So,if I had accepted my limitations early on, and found a new hobby…perhaps today i would be able to walk upstairs without excruciating pain.

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