old ass millenial

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I am old as one of those controllers you used to play Duck Hunt for Nintendo.

That’s right, I’m THAT old!

But somehow, I am still a millenial. how is this so?

HOW?!

 

I dunno. I don’t write the damn rules ‘n regulations for this shit. Some random reporters from CNN, NY Times, and whatever else ‘news’ site made up the ‘rules’ for being a millenial. I just know that being born in 1985 somehow means i am a millenial. I mean, I got AOL before I was old enough to see Titantic without permission from my mother. I guess. I’m sure I could’ve just walked right into that long-ass movie without a peep from the bored 16 year old ticket taker. Listen, it was 1997, those poor ticket takers had to stand there for HOURS, without a fucking snapchat or instagram tweet to pass the time, ya know? #sobored #titanicsucks #isawwinsletsboob

anyway, my point is….fuck being a millenial. Remember when everyone hated the baby boomers? Yep, it’s true. The greatest generation hated those damn baby boomers! Oddly enough, i am fairly sure the greatest generation plopped those boomers out of their vaginas. Even the men. Little known fact, all men born before 1945 had vaginas. Okay, I am lying. But anyway. The greatest generation had deep, deep disregard for the free love, free college, free Uber rides (helloooo hitchhiking) boomers. And now, the boomers hate MY generation!

 

Listen up, boomers. You created us. In fact, two of you created our overlord, Mr. Zuckerberg. So how DARE YOU?!?!?!

 

i am sick of posting now

 

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